• 181 ideas

What Should I Do for My 40th Birthday

Five ideas for your fortieth: a party, a trip, something new or a quiet day.

What Should I Do for My 40th Birthday

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  1. Party a friend throws from your one-page briefAny number. Medium cost. Hand over a guest list, a budget and one thing you do not want.
  2. Forty hours away, door to doorTwo people. Medium cost. Book the first night only and decide the second over breakfast.
  3. Five minutes on stage at an open micJust you. Free. Sign up on the night; one poem or one song is enough.
  4. The house to yourself from breakfast to dinnerJust you. Free. Ask the household two weeks ahead to make plans of their own.
  5. A day planned by your children, on a budget you setYour household. Low cost. Give them the sum and a map a week ahead, and agree to say yes.

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All 181 ideas

A party 40

  • A small show of your own photos or paintings 10 to 30 people. Low cost. Hang twelve pieces at home and invite people for one evening.
  • A thank-you speech from you, in place of toasts to you 10 to 40 people. Free. Write five minutes and name the people in the room.
  • Advice for your forties, one card from every guest 10 to 40 people. Free. Leave cards and pens by the door and read them out before the cake.
  • Afternoon party with a children's corner Any number. Low cost. Start at two and end by six; set out paper, pens and a rug.
  • Block party on your own street 20 or more people. Low cost. Check the local rules on closing a street two months ahead.
  • Breakfast party at a diner before work 4 to 10 people. Low cost. Call ahead for one big table at seven; everyone is at work by nine.
  • Brunch party that ends by two 8 to 20 people. Low cost. Invite for ten; pastries, eggs and a big pot of coffee.
  • Come-as-me party: guests dress as you at any age 8 to 25 people. Low cost. Send three old photos with the invitation as a starting point.
  • Costume party: what you wanted to be at ten 8 to 30 people. Low cost. Each guest explains the job in one line before the cake.
  • Decade tables: each table dresses as one of your four 20 or more people. Medium cost. Seat guests by when they met you and give each table its decade.
  • Dessert party, forty small things on one table 10 to 30 people. Low cost. Ask four friends to bring ten of one sweet each.
  • Dinner for the people who knew you at twenty 4 to 12 people. Medium cost. Write to them two months ahead; some will have to travel.
  • Dress code: the year you met me 10 to 30 people. Low cost. Put the rule on the invitation and guess each guest's year at the door.
  • Each friend cooks the dish they always make you 6 to 12 people. Low cost. Ask a month ahead and settle who brings which course.
  • Family lunch at noon, friends at eight Any number. Medium cost. Two short guest lists are easier than one long one. Book both tables.
  • Food truck parked outside your door 20 or more people. High cost. Book two months ahead and check the parking rules on your street.
  • Forty cupcakes, each iced with a year you have lived 10 to 40 people. Low cost. Order or bake two days ahead; guests take the year they met you.
  • Game show night with a friend as host 8 to 20 people. Low cost. The host writes three rounds; the prizes come from your junk drawer.
  • The hall of your childhood parties, booked again 20 or more people. Medium cost. Call the hall two months ahead and serve the same party food.
  • Ice cream cart at a garden party 15 to 40 people. Medium cost. Book the cart a month ahead; add shade and enough chairs.
  • Joint party with a friend who turns forty this year Any number. Medium cost. Agree on the date two months ahead; halve the hall, the list and the bill.
  • Memory book passed around the table 8 to 30 people. Low cost. A blank book and a good pen; each guest writes a page about a day with you.
  • Movie theater screen rented for your favorite film 15 to 60 people. High cost. Ask a local theater about a private showing six weeks ahead.
  • Name tags that say how each guest knows you 15 to 40 people. Free. Write them the night before; strangers start talking at once.
  • Park shelter reserved for the afternoon 15 to 40 people. Low cost. Reserve it a month ahead; bring a ball and a cooler.
  • Party a friend throws from your one-page brief Any number. Medium cost. Hand over a guest list, a budget and one thing you do not want.
  • Party tent in the yard, so rain changes nothing 20 or more people. High cost. Rent the tent two months ahead and measure the lawn first.
  • Photo corner with props from four decades 10 to 40 people. Low cost. A sheet, a lamp, a phone on a stand and a box of old hats and glasses.
  • Photo wall: every guest brings one picture of you two 10 to 40 people. Free. String and clothespins along one wall; guests hang their own.
  • Playlist party: a song from the year each guest met you 10 to 30 people. Free. Collect the songs a week ahead and play them in order of year.
  • Potluck of dishes from every place you have lived 8 to 20 people. Low cost. Give each guest a town and let them work out the dish.
  • Quiz night with a team from each part of your life 12 to 40 people. Low cost. A friend writes it; school, work, family and neighbors each field a team.
  • Reunion of one old group: the team, the band, the dorm 4 to 15 people. Low cost. Start with the one person who still has everyone's number.
  • School dance in your own living room 10 to 25 people. Free. Push the sofa back and play only songs from your last year of school.
  • Silent disco in the backyard 10 to 40 people. Medium cost. Rent the headphones a month ahead, and the neighbors hear nothing.
  • Sit-down dinner with a question at every place 6 to 12 people. Medium cost. Write one question on each card; guests swap seats between courses.
  • Sketch artist drawing your guests 15 to 40 people. High cost. Book an artist a month ahead for two hours; guests keep the drawings.
  • Square dance with a caller 20 or more people. High cost. Book a hall and a caller two months ahead. Nobody has to know the steps.
  • Surprise party where you know only the date Any number. Medium cost. Tell one person you trust, three months ahead, that you would like one.
  • Your first DJ set, twenty minutes at your own party 10 to 40 people. Free. Line up six songs you love and practice the joins the week before.

A trip 41

  • A city neither of you knows, picked by a friend Two people. High cost. Give the friend a budget and a weekend; open the envelope at the station.
  • A coast road driven end to end over three days 2 to 4 people. High cost. Book two stops ahead and leave the third night open.
  • A country whose language you cannot read One or two people. High cost. Learn ten words on the way and book a guide for the first morning.
  • A dark-sky park, to see the Milky Way for the first time Alone or up to 4. Medium cost. Book a bed nearby and go on a night without a full moon.
  • A group trip where each friend plans one day 4 to 8 people. High cost. Share one house; draw the days from a hat two months ahead.
  • A landscape new to you: a desert, a fjord, a prairie Alone or up to 4. High cost. Pick the nearest one and go in its mild season.
  • A national park you have never seen Alone or up to 6. High cost. Book a bed near the gate months ahead and be at the trail by eight.
  • A trip built around one event: a game, a concert, a play Alone or up to 4. High cost. Buy the tickets first, then the travel and the beds.
  • A trip with your brothers and sisters, nobody else 2 to 6 people. High cost. Agree on a weekend three months ahead and share one house.
  • A visit to the old friend who moved furthest away One or two people. High cost. Ask for dates three months ahead and stay long enough to do nothing.
  • A week of language school abroad Just you. High cost. Book the school and a host family three months ahead.
  • An island reached by ferry, two nights Alone or up to 4. Medium cost. Book the ferry and the bed together; check the last boat back.
  • Beach house week for a summer birthday 4 to 10 people. High cost. Book half a year ahead and put the birthday dinner on the deck.
  • Bike tour with the bags carried for you 2 to 6 people. High cost. Book a tour company two months ahead and pick the easy grade.
  • The country your grandparents came from Alone or up to 4. High cost. Ask the family for the names of towns and streets three months ahead.
  • Farm stay with the children Your household. Medium cost. Book a month ahead and ask which jobs guests may help with.
  • Festival weekend in tents with your oldest friends 3 to 8 people. High cost. Buy tickets the day they go on sale and pitch the tents in a ring.
  • Forty hours away, door to door Two people. Medium cost. Book the first night only and decide the second over breakfast.
  • Four cities in four days by train One or two people. High cost. Buy a rail pass, book four beds and carry one bag.
  • Four days on one long trail, inn to inn Alone or up to 4. High cost. Book the inns in order two months ahead and pack one small bag.
  • Four generations on one trip 6 to 14 people. High cost. Book a house with a ground-floor bedroom half a year ahead.
  • House swap with friends in another city Your household. Low cost. Swap keys for a week; leave each other a list of ten things to do.
  • Houseboat weekend on a quiet lake 2 to 6 people. High cost. Rent it two months ahead and ask for a steering lesson at the dock.
  • Lake house week shared by three families 8 to 16 people. High cost. Book half a year ahead; one family cooks each night.
  • One famous museum, a whole day, nothing else planned One or two people. High cost. Book a timed ticket and a bed nearby; arrive when the doors open.
  • One night somewhere odd: a lighthouse, a mill, a rail car Two people. High cost. Book months ahead and arrive before dark to see the place.
  • The place on the poster you had as a teenager Alone or up to 4. High cost. Book travel three months ahead, find the exact view and stand in it.
  • The region your favorite dish comes from Alone or up to 4. High cost. Eat it in three places and ask at each how it is made.
  • Road trip with one friend and a paper map Two people. Medium cost. Phones stay in the glove box; the passenger reads the map.
  • The setting of your favorite book One or two people. High cost. Reread it on the way and mark the places to find.
  • Snow week in a cabin for a winter birthday 2 to 8 people. High cost. Book by early fall and bring games for the dark afternoons.
  • Solo city break with a table for one each night Just you. High cost. Book the three dinners before you book the flights.
  • Spa hotel for two nights, phone left in the room safe One or two people. High cost. Book a month ahead and print the booking before the phone goes away.
  • Three families, one campground, two nights 8 to 16 people. Low cost. Reserve sites side by side two months ahead; share one camp kitchen.
  • The town a parent grew up in, with that parent Two people. Medium cost. Let them lead the walk and tell you who lived behind each door.
  • Train to a town with a good playground and a good lunch Your household. Low cost. Let the children hold the tickets and choose the seats.
  • Two nights away with your partner, children with family Two people. High cost. Ask the grandparents first, then book; leave a list on the fridge.
  • Your birthplace, and the first street you lived on Alone or up to 4. Medium cost. Ask a parent for the address and walk the old route to the store.
  • Your childhood vacation spot, with your own children Your household. Medium cost. Take the old photos along and find the same bench, beach or cafe.
  • Your first night on a sleeper train One or two people. High cost. Book a berth two months ahead and bring your own breakfast.
  • Your first trip abroad on your own Just you. High cost. Pick somewhere with good trains and book the first two nights only.

Something new 32

  • A beginner day in a sport you have only watched Alone or up to 4. Low cost. Ask a local club a month ahead: curling, fencing, rowing.
  • A day of silence at a retreat house Just you. Medium cost. Book a month ahead and leave the phone in the car.
  • A first golf lesson, then nine holes with a patient friend Two people. Medium cost. Book the lesson for the morning and the tee time for the afternoon.
  • A first improv class Just you. Low cost. Find a drop-in night for beginners; all you have to say is yes.
  • A first language class, then dinner ordered in it One or two people. Medium cost. Book a taster class and a table where the language is spoken.
  • A first lesson in sign language One or two people. Low cost. Book a taster class; learn to sign your name and thank you.
  • A first sailing lesson Just you. Medium cost. Book a taster session with a sailing school and ask what to wear.
  • A first singing lesson Just you. Medium cost. Book one trial lesson and bring a song you already know.
  • A first ski lesson on a beginner slope Alone or up to 4. High cost. Book a beginner lesson with boots and skis included.
  • A photograph you printed by hand in a darkroom Just you. Medium cost. Book a darkroom workshop a month ahead and bring one roll of film.
  • A seat in the audience of a radio or TV recording One or two people. Low cost. Apply for audience tickets weeks ahead and expect to stand in line.
  • A silver ring made at a jeweler's workshop One or two people. High cost. Book a one-day class a month ahead and wear the ring home.
  • A stool you built at a one-day woodworking class Just you. High cost. Book a class for beginners a month ahead and carry the stool home.
  • An afternoon sketching in a museum, your first from life Just you. Free. Take a pencil and a small pad; pick one statue and stay an hour.
  • An audition for the local amateur play Just you. Free. Ask the company when it casts next, and ask for a small part.
  • An hour driving a steam engine on a heritage railroad Just you. High cost. Ask about driver days months ahead.
  • An hour with a falconer and a hawk on your glove Alone or up to 4. High cost. Book a falconry center a month ahead.
  • The band you have loved since school, seen live at last Alone or up to 4. High cost. Buy the tickets the day they go on sale.
  • Beekeeping taster day One or two people. Medium cost. Ask a local beekeepers' group a month ahead, and what to wear.
  • Calligraphy class, then your own place cards One or two people. Medium cost. Book a half-day class two weeks before the party.
  • Five minutes on stage at an open mic Just you. Free. Sign up on the night; one poem or one song is enough.
  • Guided fossil hunt on a beach Your household. Low cost. Book a guided walk and ask what you may keep.
  • One evening sitting in on a community choir Just you. Free. Write a week ahead and ask whether a visitor may join for a night.
  • One song recorded in a studio, friends on backing Alone or up to 6. High cost. Book two hours a month ahead and rehearse the song once before.
  • Your first cheese, made at a dairy workshop One or two people. Medium cost. Book a half-day class and take home what you made.
  • Your first evening at a bridge or chess club Just you. Free. Ask about the beginners' table a week ahead.
  • Your first garden bed, dug and planted One or two people. Low cost. One stride by two is plenty; plant what the nursery sells that week.
  • Your first live opera, ballet or symphony One or two people. Medium cost. Book a month ahead and read the story on the way in.
  • Your first painting on a real canvas Just you. Low cost. Buy one canvas and three tubes, and paint the view from a window.
  • Your first piece of clothing made to fit you Just you. High cost. See a tailor two months ahead and allow time for fittings.
  • Your first poem, read aloud at dinner Just you. Free. Forty words, one for each year, is a fair length.
  • Your first print at a printmaking workshop One or two people. Medium cost. Book a one-day class and print your own thank-you cards.

A quiet day 37

  • A day alone by the sea, lunch eaten on the wall Just you. Low cost. Take a coat and a book, and check the last train or bus home.
  • A day in the garden with the radio on Just you. Free. Choose one bed or one pot and finish it.
  • A day off work, with your plans told to no one Just you. Free. Book the day a month ahead and say only that you are out.
  • A film released the year you were born Alone or up to 4. Free. Look up the films of that year and pick one you have never seen.
  • A forty-page booklet about your forty years Just you. Low cost. One page a year: a photo and three lines. Print five copies.
  • A hot drink, a sandwich and a bench with a view One or two people. Free. Choose the bench the day before and go whatever the weather.
  • A long call with the friend you have known longest Two people. Free. Agree on the hour a week ahead so neither of you is in a hurry.
  • A morning in a library reading room Just you. Free. Take the one book you have meant to finish, and a pencil.
  • A round-trip ticket, a window seat and a book Just you. Low cost. Pick a line with a view and turn around at the far end.
  • A visit to someone you miss, with flowers One or two people. Low cost. Go in the morning and keep the afternoon free.
  • A walk from one town to the next, and a ride home Alone or up to 4. Low cost. Check the last train or bus first, and eat in the second town.
  • A walk with your partner and one question: what next Two people. Free. An hour out and an hour back; no phones and no deciding today.
  • A whole day with one old friend and no schedule Two people. Low cost. Agree only on where to meet; decide the rest on the way.
  • An afternoon nap with the door shut Just you. Free. Tell the household the hour and put the phone in another room.
  • An ordinary workday, cake for the team, home early Any number. Low cost. Bring the cake yourself and ask for the early finish the day before.
  • The book you loved at twenty, read again Just you. Free. Find your old copy or borrow one, and note what you see now.
  • The box from your parents' attic, opened Alone or up to 4. Free. Ask a parent to bring it down a week ahead and go through it together.
  • The box of old photos, sorted and labeled at last One or two people. Free. Pencil names and years on the backs while someone still knows them.
  • Dinner cooked by your household while you sit Your household. Low cost. Hand over the menu a week ahead and stay out of the kitchen.
  • Dinner for five: you and a friend from each decade 5 people. Medium cost. Invite the four a month ahead; they may never have met.
  • Dinner for two at home once the children are asleep Two people. Low cost. Set the table before bedtime and order from the good place.
  • Forty minutes' walk out, lunch, the same path home One or two people. Low cost. Pick a path that ends at a cafe and check it is open that day.
  • Forty names of people who mattered, and five messages Just you. Free. Write the list, then send a line to five you have lost touch with.
  • Forty recipes you really cook, written on cards Just you. Free. One card each; note who taught you the dish.
  • Forty things you are glad you did, in a notebook Just you. Free. Start a week early; the last ten are the hard ones.
  • Forty things you no longer need, given away Just you. Free. Fill four boxes of ten and drop them at a thrift store that day.
  • Four albums, one from each decade of your life One or two people. Free. Play each from first track to last, with nothing else on.
  • Four books for the year ahead, one a season Just you. Low cost. Choose them in a bookstore and write the season inside each cover.
  • Four objects on a shelf, one from each decade Just you. Free. Choose them over a week and write a line for each on a card.
  • The house to yourself from breakfast to dinner Just you. Free. Ask the household two weeks ahead to make plans of their own.
  • Lunch with your mother or father, just the two of you Two people. Low cost. Book their favorite place and ask what they were doing at forty.
  • Old letters and cards, read again in one sitting Just you. Free. Fetch the shoebox, make tea and keep the ones worth keeping.
  • One page on what your forties are for Just you. Free. Three headings are enough: keep, stop, start.
  • One room of one gallery, seen slowly Just you. Low cost. Pick the room at the door and give every picture a full minute.
  • The story of your thirties, written in an hour Just you. Free. Set a timer, write by hand and do not read it back until tomorrow.
  • Three things you own, altered to fit by a tailor Just you. Medium cost. Take them in two weeks ahead and pick them up on the day.
  • The walk you know by heart, at your own pace Just you. Free. Leave the watch at home and stop wherever you like.

With children 31

  • A birthday crown made by the children, worn at dinner Your household. Free. Card, tape and whatever is in the craft drawer.
  • A cake frosted by the children with no help Your household. Low cost. Bake the layers the day before; hand over the frosting and stand back.
  • A counting walk: forty of whatever the children pick Your household. Free. Dogs, red doors or mailboxes; the walk ends at number forty.
  • A day planned by your children, on a budget you set Your household. Low cost. Give them the sum and a map a week ahead, and agree to say yes.
  • A den built in the woods, lunch eaten inside it Your household. Free. Use fallen branches only and take it down before you leave.
  • A drawing from each child, dated and kept every year Your household. Free. Start the folder today and add to it each birthday.
  • A hands-on museum where you pick the first room Your household. Medium cost. Book timed tickets if the museum asks, and go when the doors open.
  • A museum of you, curated by the children Your household. Free. Five objects each, a label for every one, and a tour before the cake.
  • A photo booth strip with each child Your household. Low cost. One strip per child; they choose the faces.
  • A picnic the children pack Your household. Low cost. Give them the bag and one rule: something you like goes in it.
  • A portrait of you by each child, framed in a row Your household. Low cost. Buy matching frames first so every drawing is the same size.
  • A ride on a miniature or steam railroad Your household. Low cost. Check which days the trains run before you promise it.
  • A short film about you, each child directing a scene Your household. Free. A phone, one day and a showing after dinner.
  • Adults against children at a sport the children choose 6 to 16 people. Free. Play in the park; the children also choose the referee.
  • An outfit chosen by your children, worn all day Your household. Free. Agree on one veto before they open the closet.
  • Bedtime swapped: the children put you to bed Your household. Free. They choose your story and your bedtime; you may get up again after.
  • Breakfast made by the children Your household. Low cost. One adult works the stove; the birthday person stays in bed.
  • Breakfast out with the children before school Your household. Low cost. Call ahead for a table at seven and lay out clothes the night before.
  • The card game your family always played, passed on 3 to 8 people. Free. Write the house rules on a card and keep it in the box.
  • Everyone's height marked on the door frame, yours too Your household. Free. Pencil, name and date; do it again next year.
  • Family concert: each child performs one thing for you Your household. Free. Give a week's notice and print a program.
  • The family photo from your childhood, posed again 3 to 8 people. Free. Find the old picture, match the places and print the two together.
  • Forty bulbs planted with the children Your household. Low cost. Buy bulbs sold for planting that month and give each child a row.
  • Forty questions from your children, recorded Your household. Free. They write the questions the day before; a phone on a shelf records.
  • Lunch at their favorite place, dinner at yours Your household. Medium cost. Book the dinner; lunch can take its chances.
  • One canvas with a handprint from everyone in the family Your household. Low cost. Washable paint, a bowl of water by the door and the date in a corner.
  • Paper chain of forty links, a wish written on each Your household. Free. Cut the strips the night before; read the wishes when it comes down.
  • The park you played in as a child, shown to your children Your household. Free. Bring a ball and tell them what has changed.
  • Stories of you at their age, told at bedtime Your household. Free. Pick three true ones, and one where you were in trouble.
  • Your childhood bedtime book, read aloud Your household. Free. Borrow it from the library a week ahead if your copy is gone.
  • Your favorite childhood game, taught to your children Your household. Free. Play it where you played it, if you can get there.

How it works

How should I celebrate my 40th birthday: a hall full of people, or a day with the phone off? Each idea says how many people it suits, a rough cost and what to arrange.

Read the full guide

Choose the kind of day first

Among the parties are ones someone else runs, such as a party a friend throws from your one-page brief. A trip runs from forty hours away to a week of language school abroad. Something new is a thing you have never done: a night on a sleeper train, five minutes on stage at an open mic. A quiet day stays small: an afternoon nap with the door shut, lunch with your mother or father.

If the day has to work for children

With children puts them inside the plan: a day they plan on a budget you set, forty bulbs planted together, your childhood vacation spot shown to them.

  • Settle the guest list before the venue. Forty people and fourteen people are different parties.
  • If friends ask what you want, send two ideas: one they can book and one that costs nothing.
  • Trips and halls need the longest notice, so decide on those before anything else.

Questions and answers

What should I do for my 40th birthday party?

Choose A party. Each idea has a hook, such as Dress code: the year you met me, Quiz night with a team from each part of your life or Silent disco in the backyard, and says what to arrange.

How should I celebrate my 40th birthday alone?

Choose A quiet day and look for the lines that start Just you: The house to yourself from breakfast to dinner, One room of one gallery, seen slowly, or A round-trip ticket, a window seat and a book.

What should I do for my 40th birthday as a man?

The list is not split by gender, because a good plan follows what you like. Start with the kind: a square dance, a coast road driven end to end, a first golf lesson or a day off with plans told to no one.

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