Weird Pet Names

Press for five quirky pet names, each with its joke explained in a line.

Weird Pet Names

  1. Captain Horatio Barkington the SeventhCommands the front window.
  2. Vincent van DoghA pun on Vincent van Gogh, the Dutch painter.
  3. PawthagorasA pun on Pythagoras, the ancient Greek philosopher.
  4. Octavius Pemberton Pawsley the EighthThe number is in the first name too.
  5. TeaspoonThe smallest thing in the drawer, and it still gets its share.

Next step Try a plainer pet name

How it works

Weird pet names in four kinds: puns such as Bark Twain and Cleocatra, things around the house such as Toaster, names that say the opposite, and long formal names with a number. Every card explains its joke.

Read the full guide

Sort the puns by animal

The list under the button picks the kind of name, and its last entry, More filters, opens the animals. For a hamster brings Hamlet, Hammurabi and Ernest Hamingway. For a rabbit brings Warren Peace and Edward Hopper, and For a fish brings Albert Finstein and Carp Diem. The other three kinds suit any animal, so they stay in every draw.

Who the puns are about

A pun on a person is on someone of history or legend who died before 1970, and the card says who. Sockrates is Socrates, for a dog who steals socks. Clawed Monet is the French painter Claude Monet.

Questions and answers

What are good pet name puns?

For a dog: Bark Twain, Virginia Woof and Johann Sebastian Bark. For a cat: Cleocatra, Meowzart and Marie Purrie. A finch can be Leonardo da Finchi and a songbird Beakthoven. Each card says who or what the pun is on.

What are some ridiculous pet names?

The long formal ones, such as Bartholomew Fluffington the Third, Sir Reginald Wigglesworth the Second and Lord Humphrey Crumpetshire the Ninth. Things around the house come close: Stapler, Colander, Doorknob and Keys.

What is a weird name for a big dog?

Tiny, for the biggest animal you have ever shared a sofa with, or Alexander the Great Dane. The opposite trick works on small pets too: Moose is for the smallest pet in the house and Jumbo for one that fits in a coat pocket.

Why are there no puns on film characters or living celebrities?

This site leaves out living people, brands and the characters of films, shows and games. The puns here are on people of history, such as Charles Lickens and Napoleon Bone-apart, on old books and legends, and on plain words.

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All 147 names

Puns 95

  • Abracodabra Abracadabra, with a cod in the middle.
  • Albert Finstein A pun on Albert Einstein, the physicist of the theory of relativity.
  • Alexander the Great Dane A pun on Alexander the Great, king of ancient Macedon, for a very large dog.
  • Amelia Harehart A pun on Amelia Earhart, the American aviation pioneer.
  • Arfur Arthur, with an arf at the front.
  • Bark Antony A pun on Mark Antony, the Roman general.
  • Bark Ranger A park ranger who patrols the yard and reports every squirrel.
  • Bark Twain A pun on Mark Twain, the author of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.
  • Barkimedes A pun on Archimedes, the ancient Greek mathematician.
  • Barko Polo A pun on Marco Polo, the merchant of Venice who traveled the Silk Road.
  • Beakthoven A pun on Ludwig van Beethoven, the German composer, for a bird who sings.
  • Benjamin Barklin A pun on Benjamin Franklin, the American writer, scientist and inventor.
  • Bill A bill is a beak. A plain man's name with a joke inside.
  • Bunedict Benedict, for a bun.
  • Bunjamin Benjamin, with a bun at the front.
  • Bunsen Burner The laboratory gas burner named after Robert Bunsen, and it starts with bun.
  • Carp Diem A pun on carpe diem, Latin words from a poem by Horace, usually put as seize the day.
  • Catastrophe A whole word with a cat at the front, and a fair warning.
  • Catherine the Great Empress of Russia until 1796, and her name starts with a cat.
  • Catrick Patrick, if Patrick were a cat.
  • Catsup Another spelling of ketchup that happens to start with a cat.
  • Charles Lickens A pun on Charles Dickens, the English writer.
  • Cheep Thrills Cheap thrills, at the price a small bird charges.
  • Christopher Wren The English architect of St Paul's Cathedral had a bird for a surname.
  • Cinnamon Bun A bun is a bun. This one is brown.
  • Clawdia Claudia, with the claws out.
  • Clawed Monet A pun on Claude Monet, the French painter.
  • Cleocatra A pun on Cleopatra, the last active ruler of Ptolemaic Egypt.
  • Collie Flower Cauliflower, for a collie or any dog shaped like one.
  • Copurrnicus A pun on Nicolaus Copernicus, who put the Sun at the center of the planets.
  • Droolius Caesar A pun on Julius Caesar, the Roman general and dictator.
  • Edgar Allan Paw A pun on Edgar Allan Poe, the American writer and poet.
  • Edward Hopper An American painter whose surname does all the work for a rabbit.
  • Emily Lickinson A pun on the American poet Emily Dickinson.
  • Ernest Hamingway A pun on Ernest Hemingway, the American novelist.
  • F. Spot Fitzgerald A pun on F. Scott Fitzgerald, the American novelist.
  • Finbar A human name with a fin at the front.
  • Frederic Chompin A pun on Frederic Chopin, the Polish composer and pianist.
  • Furdinand Magellan A pun on Ferdinand Magellan, the Portuguese explorer.
  • Geoffrey Chewcer A pun on Geoffrey Chaucer, the poet of The Canterbury Tales.
  • Gillgamesh A pun on Gilgamesh, the hero of an ancient Mesopotamian epic.
  • Graham A plain human name with a ham at the end.
  • The Great Catsby A pun on The Great Gatsby, the 1925 novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
  • Hairistotle A pun on Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, for a dog who sheds.
  • Hamilton Alexander Hamilton was the first U.S. Secretary of the Treasury. The first three letters are why.
  • Hamish A Scottish given name that starts with ham.
  • Hamlet Shakespeare's prince of Denmark, and a very small ham.
  • Hammurabi A king of Babylon, with a ham at the front.
  • Hamster Dam Amsterdam, with an h at the front.
  • Hamstring One of the muscles at the back of your thigh, and a hamster on a wheel.
  • Hare Force One A pun on Air Force One, for a rabbit who crosses the room in two jumps.
  • Hareiet Harriet, with a hare in it.
  • Hareold Harold, for a hare.
  • Harey Houdini A pun on Harry Houdini, the escape artist, for the rabbit who gets out of any pen.
  • Henri Catisse A pun on Henri Matisse, the French artist.
  • Holy Mackerel An old way to say wow, kept in a bowl.
  • Hot Cross Bun For the rabbit who thumps when dinner is late.
  • Huckleberry Fin A pun on Huckleberry Finn, the boy in Mark Twain's novel.
  • Jackson Pawllock A pun on Jackson Pollock, the American painter, for a dog with muddy feet.
  • Jane Pawsten A pun on Jane Austen, the English novelist.
  • Johann Sebastian Bark A pun on Johann Sebastian Bach, the German composer.
  • Koi Polloi A pun on hoi polloi, Greek for the many, for one koi among many.
  • Leonardo da Finchi A pun on Leonardo da Vinci, the Italian painter and inventor, for a finch.
  • Lop Ness A pun on the Loch Ness Monster, for a lop-eared rabbit who is rarely seen.
  • Marie Purrie A pun on Marie Curie, the physicist and chemist who studied radioactivity.
  • Meowgaret Margaret, as she says it herself.
  • Meowrice Ravel A pun on Maurice Ravel, the French composer.
  • Meowzart A pun on Mozart, for a cat who sings at night.
  • Napoleon Bone-apart A pun on Napoleon Bonaparte, emperor of the French.
  • Nefurtiti A pun on Nefertiti, a queen of ancient Egypt.
  • Pawthagoras A pun on Pythagoras, the ancient Greek philosopher.
  • Polly Esther Polyester, said slowly, for a parrot.
  • Purrcival Percival, with the engine running.
  • Purrcy Shelley A pun on Percy Bysshe Shelley, the English poet.
  • Purrito A burrito that purrs, usually wrapped in your blanket.
  • Purrsephone A pun on Persephone, a goddess of Greek mythology.
  • Robin Hood The outlaw of English folklore, for a robin or any bird who takes your fries.
  • Santa Claws Santa Claus, with claws. Best for a cat who climbs the tree.
  • Sir Hamsalot A pun on Sir Lancelot, a knight of the Round Table in the legends of King Arthur.
  • Sir Isaac Mewton A pun on Sir Isaac Newton, the English mathematician and physicist.
  • Sockrates A pun on Socrates, the Greek philosopher, for a dog who steals socks.
  • Something Fishy There is, and it lives on your shelf.
  • Squawkward Awkward, and loud about it.
  • Squeakspeare Shakespeare again, for a hamster with a lot to say.
  • Subwoofer A loudspeaker for the lowest notes, with a woof in the middle.
  • Swimothy Timothy, for someone who swims.
  • Tabbytha Tabitha, spelled for a tabby.
  • Vincent van Dogh A pun on Vincent van Gogh, the Dutch painter.
  • Virginia Woof A pun on the English writer Virginia Woolf.
  • Warren Peace A pun on War and Peace, the novel by Leo Tolstoy; a warren is where rabbits live.
  • William Shakespaw A pun on William Shakespeare, the English playwright.
  • Wing Tut A pun on King Tut, the short name of the Egyptian pharaoh Tutankhamun.
  • Wingding An old word for a lively party, with a wing at the front.
  • Woofgang Amadeus A pun on the composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
  • Woofles Waffles, as a dog would say it.

Things around the house 19

  • Blender Makes a great deal of noise for something so small.
  • Colander Whatever goes in runs straight out again.
  • Doorknob Always by the door, waiting to be turned loose.
  • Dustpan Follows the broom and picks up what it missed.
  • Footstool Low, square and right where you were about to walk.
  • Fork Pointy at one end and found wherever there is dinner.
  • Keys So you can walk around the house asking who has seen Keys.
  • Ladle Mostly a belly, with a long neck.
  • Paperclip Small, bendy and found in strange places.
  • Remote Always lost between the sofa cushions.
  • Sock There is only ever one of them.
  • Spatula Flat, flexible and always under something.
  • Sponge Soaks up everything, mostly your time.
  • Stapler Sits on the desk and bites if you put a finger in.
  • Teapot Short and stout.
  • Teaspoon The smallest thing in the drawer, and it still gets its share.
  • Thermostat Finds the warmest spot in the house and stays on it.
  • Toaster Warm, sits on the counter and pops up when food is ready.
  • Whisk Goes round and round very fast and makes a mess.

Names that say the opposite 16

  • Captain Calm For a pet who barks at the mail, the wind and the toaster.
  • Chatty For a pet who has never made a sound.
  • Curly For a coat as straight as a ruler.
  • Feather For the heaviest thing that has ever sat on your lap.
  • Hurricane For a pet who sleeps twenty hours a day.
  • Jumbo For a pet who fits in a coat pocket.
  • Lightfoot For the one you can hear coming from upstairs.
  • Moose For the smallest pet in the house.
  • Nimble For a pet who falls off the sofa in its sleep.
  • Peewee For a pet who needs both doors opened.
  • Shorty For the tallest dog at the park, or the longest fish in the tank.
  • Speedy For the one who has never once hurried.
  • Sprinter For the slowest walker on the block.
  • Tidy For the one who digs, sheds and tips the bowl.
  • Tiny For the biggest animal you have ever shared a sofa with.
  • Turbo For a pet whose top speed is a slow walk.

Long formal names 17

  • Algernon Fitzwhiskers the Tenth Ten generations of looking down a nose.
  • Baron Cuthbert Nibblington the Sixth The family has always nibbled.
  • Bartholomew Fluffington the Third Long, grand and numbered, for a pet with no idea how silly it looks.
  • Captain Horatio Barkington the Seventh Commands the front window.
  • Clementine Puddlesworth the Third Found in the first, second and third puddle on every walk.
  • Cornelius Fuzzwick the Eleventh By the eleventh they had run out of other names.
  • Countess Wilhelmina von Snoot the First The first of her line, and she knows it.
  • Dame Beatrix Pufflewick the Second A title earned on the best cushion in the house.
  • Duchess Ottoline Muffinsworth the Second Expects breakfast in bed. Yours.
  • Lady Philippa Featherbottom the Fourth Say the whole thing when she is in trouble.
  • Lord Humphrey Crumpetshire the Ninth Nobody knows what happened to the first eight.
  • Maximilian Tumbleweed the Fourth A very long name for something that rolls across the floor.
  • Mister Thaddeus Scrufflebury the Second Too scruffy for a title, too proud for a short name.
  • Montgomery Snugglesworth the Fifth Monty to friends, the full name at the vet.
  • Octavius Pemberton Pawsley the Eighth The number is in the first name too.
  • Professor Ignatius Wobble the Third Holds a chair. Will not get off it.
  • Sir Reginald Wigglesworth the Second A knighthood for outstanding wiggling.
How this list was compiled

Own list of 147 odd and funny pet names, written for this page on 2026-10-02; every name and every line is ours. Kinds: 95 puns, 19 things around the house, 16 names that say the opposite, 17 long formal names with a number. A pun is sorted by the animal it is about (79 cards fit a dog, 77 a cat, 65 a rabbit, 63 a hamster, 62 a fish, 62 a bird; the other three kinds suit any animal and are counted under all six). The person, book, phrase or word behind 66 of the puns was read that day in the opening section of its English Wikipedia article, or in its English Wiktionary entry (CC BY-SA 4.0), and the card says no more about them than that text does. The rule for a pun on a person: someone of history or legend who died before 1970, with the year of death checked in the article; no living person, no politician of the last hundred years, and no character of a film, a show, a game or a modern book. No brand names, and no name from the leave-out list of the dog name generator's source. The long formal names are invented; a real person may still share one by chance. Licence: The names and the lines are our own work. Facts about the people and works behind the puns draw on English Wikipedia and English Wiktionary, CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/).