A bound book of the speeches and toastsAsk each speaker for their notes after the day and have them bound.
A check inside a handwritten letterThe letter is the part they keep; write a memory of the one you know best.
A film of messages from guests who could not comeAsk for half a minute from each and join the clips in order of age.
A night away for their first anniversaryBook it a year ahead and put the confirmation in the card.
A portrait sitting for their first anniversaryPay the photographer now and let the couple set the date.
A quilt sewn from fabric of both familiesStart months ahead; ask each side for a shirt or a tablecloth to cut.
A serving platter for the holidays they will hostLarge, plain and white goes with any plates they chose.
A set of good pots from the brothers and sistersAgree who buys which pan, or pool the money for the full set on the list.
A throw you knitted in their wedding colorsBegin when the invitation arrives; a throw takes weeks.
A tree for their gardenAsk first whether they have the ground; a nursery voucher lets them choose.
An heirloom: a clock, a ring or a serving dishWrite down who owned it before them and tuck the note inside.
Bed linen in the size on their listCheck the bed size before you buy; the registry will say.
The costliest thing on the registry, bought by a groupFive or six guests can close the one large item; sign the card with every name.
The drill, ladder or tool they keep borrowingWhoever lends it knows which one it is.
Family recipes from both sides, copied into one bookAsk each family for three dishes and write who gave each one.
Flowers for a year, one bunch each seasonFour deliveries; time the first for the week they come home.
The large appliance still on the listA stand mixer or a vacuum cleaner often sits unbought; four guests can close it.
Money toward the house they are saving forIf they have a home fund, say that is where it should go.
The tools nobody puts on a registryHammer, screwdrivers, tape measure, picture hooks: a first home needs them in week one.
Two suitcases for the honeymoonGive them before the wedding, so they are packed for the trip.
The wedding album, paid for by the familyAsk the photographer what the album costs and split it between relatives.
For a close friend 23
A cast-iron pan with one of your recipesHeavy, plain and good for decades; tie the recipe card to the handle.
A cleaner booked for the day before they returnArrange the key with a relative; they come home to a made bed.
A cookbook with your favorite pages flaggedMark five recipes and write beside each why it is worth making.
A cutting board with the wedding date in one cornerAsk an engraver to burn in the date, small and plain.
A day of your help with the moveWrite the offer on a card with your phone number, and mean it.
A dinner for the week they come homeA voucher for a place near their home, for the night the fridge is empty.
A framer's voucher for one wedding photoThey choose the print when the photos arrive; the frame is already paid for.
A jigsaw cut from their engagement photoSomething to do together in the first quiet week.
A lesson for two in something neither of them can doPottery, dancing, bread: choose a date after the honeymoon.
A painting of the place they got engagedWork from a photo; paint it yourself or ask a friend who can.
A photo of the two of them that they have never seenLook through your own phone first; a candid one from years ago is the prize.
A picnic basket packed for their first free weekendA blanket, two cups, a bread knife and a note saying where you would go.
A print by an artist from their townBuy it unframed if you do not know their walls.
A recipe box started with your best recipeWrite one card by hand and leave the others blank for them to fill.
A share in their honeymoon fundIf the couple lists a fund, write in the card what you hope it pays for.
A year's membership to a museum or garden near themBoth names on the card, good for a year of free afternoons.
Breakfast for the first morning homeCoffee, bread and jam in a basket, left with whoever has their key.
Good kitchen knives, shared by three guestsThree sharp knives beat a block of twelve; split the cost and the card.
The local newspaper from their wedding dayBuy it that morning, keep it flat, and hand it over when they are back.
The registry item nobody has bought yetLook at what is left on their list; the plain, useful things often are.
Sealed letters from the wedding party, for year oneCollect a letter from each person; the couple opens the box on the first anniversary.
Their invitation, framedKeep yours flat until the wedding, then frame it with a wide mat.
Two garden chairs, or a fire bowl for the yardFor a couple with outdoor space; ask a family member what they lack.
For a coworker or acquaintance 16
A card with one line of advice and a small giftFor a wedding you were invited to late, warm words and something modest are enough.
A donation to the cause they namedSome couples ask for this in place of gifts; say in the card that it is done.
A doormat for the new addressPlain and hard-wearing; they will step on your gift every day and not mind.
A houseplant that forgives a missed wateringAsk the nursery for one that suits a busy first year, and add a pot.
A magazine subscription for the thing they do togetherCooking, gardening, hiking: a year of it through the mail slot.
A stamp with their new return addressIn use the same month: there are thank-you notes to send.
A tree ornament with the wedding yearFor a couple who keeps Christmas: it comes out of the box every December.
A wool blanket for the sofaA plain color suits a home you have not seen.
Bath towels in the color they markedTowels are in use from the first week; follow the registry for the color.
Luggage tags with their new initialsUseful on the honeymoon, and easy to mail if you cannot attend.
Money in a card that says what it is forName a use, such as the first dinner in the new home, and it reads as a gift.
The office collection: one envelope, one cardOne person collects, no amount is written down, and everyone signs.
One piece of the honeymoon: a dinner or a boat tripWhere a honeymoon list is sold in pieces, a team can buy one whole.
One place setting of the dishes they choseA plate, a bowl and a cup in their pattern count toward the full set.
Thank-you cards and a sheet of stampsThey will write dozens after the wedding; this saves a trip.
Twelve everyday glasses, all one kindGlasses break; a dozen plain ones outlast the fancy set.
How it works
What you should give as a wedding gift depends on how close you are to the couple. Ideas are sorted for close family, a close friend and a coworker, then a small budget, a group gift and things you make.
Read the full guide
Start with how close you are
Close family gives what lasts: an heirloom, the album, money toward the house. A close friend gives what only a friend could, such as a photo the couple has never seen. For a coworker or someone you know a little, a modest gift is right, and it is enough.
When the budget is small
A gift is kept for its use, not its price. A stamp with their new return address, a box of thank-you cards or one place setting of their dishes is in use within the month. Or join in: a few guests together can buy the one large item still on the list.
Send a large gift to the couple's home. Anything carried to the reception has to be carried away again by someone in a suit.
Sign a group gift with every giver's name, so the couple knows whom to thank.
Questions and answers
Is it OK to give money as a wedding gift?
Yes. Some couples ask for it through a honeymoon or home fund, and money in a card is a plain, welcome gift where there is none. Write a line saying what you hope it pays for.
What do you give as a wedding gift when there is no registry?
Something useful in any home: twelve everyday glasses, a wool blanket for the sofa, a cast-iron pan with one of your recipes, or a dinner for the week they come home.
What is a good wedding gift for a coworker?
An item off the registry, a share in their honeymoon fund, or the office collection: one envelope and one card that everyone signs, with no amount written down.
What can I give as a wedding gift on a small budget?
A doormat for the new address, luggage tags with their new initials, their invitation in a frame, or a day of your help with the move. Each is used or kept.
What do you give a couple who already has everything?
Something to do or something used up: a lesson for two, a year's membership to a museum or garden near them, flowers each season, or a donation to the cause they named.